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Illamasqua The Theatre of the Nameless Nail Varnishes – Faux Pas, Kink, Taint and Vice

By on September 21, 2011
in Berry, Brown, Fall 2011, Green, Illamasqua, Purple

New from IllamasquaDescend into the riotous scene of erotic adventure that is THE THEATRE OF THE NAMELESS, nocturnal den of the dissident leaders of underworld subcultures. Exotic dancers rub shoulders with expressionist actors and performers; nudists and Boot Girls openly compete for the Conférencier’s eye; and all participate in the Club’s endless, pleasure-seeking rituals, immersing themselves in a heady world of sensual delight …


As part of Illamasqua’s Fall 2011 collection, Theatre of the Nameless, the cult UK brand is introducing four new Nail Varnish shades with a waxy, rubberized finish. Taking a lead from the colour-coded specialities of the Wittenberg Platz’s domineering Boot Girls, Illamasqua introduces confident new shades in Taint (Stone Brown), Kink (Bottle Green), Vice (Deep Cerise), and Faux Pas (Blue Violet).

Formula & Application: Illamasqua is a 3-Free brand based out of the UK that sells their products exclusively at Sephora in the US. The bottle has a removable outer cap that reveals a small ribbed inner cap that can be used for application though I prefer to just leave the outer cap on while polishing. The brush is thin and round and reminds me of the old OPI non-Pro Wide brush. For the Theatre of the Nameless collection, the caps are rubberized to mimic the nail polish finish.

The consistency of all four polishes is thin and a bit jelly-ish but pigmented. Though I noticed that, due to the texture, the polish can look a bit thin at the tip of the nail so make sure you wrap your tips to avoid any opacity inconsistencies. In spite of that minor application road bump, I managed to get all the shades opaque in two coats.

The rubberized finish in this collection has also been called a “wax coat” or “plastic” finish. We’ve seen this type of finish in the Orly Plastix collection polishes and from satin finish top coats like Orly Nails for Males and Barielle Matte-inee. Like matte nail polishes, in order to sustain the rubberized look you can’t apply top coat unless it’s one with a similar satin finish.

Illamasqua Kink is a rich forest green creme though the finish gives it somewhat of a garden hose appearance. Obvi I couldn’t wait to put it on. Okay, clearly I need to stop watching Awkward. now that “obvi” has slipped into my lexicon. Who am I?  Anywho, I actually swatched Kink before I left for NYC. I dropped everything in the midst of my packing nightmare to put it on.


Illamasqua Faux Pas is a sultry purple that leans more blue than red but only slightly so. In comparison with the somewhat dusty looking Orly Purple Pleather, Faux Pas is darker and richer. It looks like a satin version of China Glaze Grape Pop.


Illamasqua Taint is a muddy, yellow-based brown creme. The jaundiced undertone of this color makes it more suitable to warm skin tones than cool in my opinion. And even though the word has a totally legit definition, I can’t help but giggle like a twelve-year-old boy over a brown polish being named taint.


Vice is a lush raspberry creme. It made me think of one my makeup bag staples, Stila Pomegranate Crush Lip & Cheek Stain. I’m a sucker for a stain and that one is so fall, just like Vice. Is it just me or does this color have a bit of a velvet look thanks to the finish?


Bottom Line: Matte is so 2009 and even though the satin/rubber/wax look polishes have been around, for some reason, in this collection, they seem fresh. Maybe it’s the sexy, bondage feeling they evoke in conjunction with the exotic underworld this collection represents. Kink and Faux Pas are no-brainer favorites of mine but Vice is a solid runner-up in spite of my general aversion to all things red and pink. Taint just does nothing for me, regardless of its name.


How sexy are these nails? Corsets?? I'm dying!

Illamasqua Theatre of the Nameless Nail Varnishes are available now at Sephora stores nationwide and online at and Illamasqua Nail Varnishes retail for $14/ea for a .5oz bottle.

How are we feeling about these rubberized polishes? Is this a finish you would wear? Which ones do you plan to buy? Between matte and satin, which finish do you prefer?

Disclosure: Product samples were furnished by Illamasqua. For more info view my Disclosure Policy.

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There Are 50 Brilliant Comments

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  1. Shalon says:

    I love the finish of those. I hope that I can pick up at least one.

  2. Caryn says:

    Awesome! Can’t wait to see these in stores. I’ve never tried rubberized polishes so I am defiantly excited to give these a go. Faux Pas would be one I’d be interested, although I was one too many purples, I feel purples go well with my skin tone.

  3. Sara says:

    I generally skim these posts to get to the pictures, but this time I had to go back and re-read the part about the finish because I saw them & instantly thought “they look like cremes that got dirty & now look dull” which is definitely not a look I’d generally go for. I wear shiny top coat for a reason. PASS!

  4. Seriously that is the worst name I can think of. I’m a 12-year-old too.

    I want the green though.

    • Andrea says:

      The names are all intentional – they represent the colours of boots that Berlin prostitutes used to wear to show what was their speciality.

  5. Sasha says:

    I’m so glad you swatched these! I have already ordered Kink a few days ago even though I could not find a good swatch online. Now I know I made a good choice in ordering that color!

  6. Amber J. says:

    Sadly, this entire collection is getting a PASS from me. I also think matte is 2009, and I’m not getting a fresh feeling about this collection at all. On their own, I don’t think the colors are super unique either to warrant purchasing and using a top coat for a glossy finish. Oh well. My current Illamasaqua loves will just have to hold me over until spring!

  7. When I purchased Rampage I couldn’t help thinking it was rubber-looking because it doesn’t dry completely glossy, it has that rubber feeling to it, and Kink looks so similar to it. I wonder what the difference is. Maybe Rampage is a little bit darker?

  8. Jamie says:

    I agree with Sara, they look like a creme that was applied with a cheap top coat that wore off. I get that they’re going for a unique finish, but I’ll just stick with my shiny nails. Also, I cannot get past the gross name/creepy story behind these polishes. Just not what I want to think about every time I look at my nails.

  9. elizabeth says:

    I keep going back and forth on Kink depending on whose swatches I’m looking at. Hopefully they’ll have it at my sephora so I can test it out. Love Awkward! A friend of mine was talking about a guy she’s dating and I actually asked her if they had DTR’d yet.

  10. Melanie says:

    It’s funny, because the only one I really like is Taint. I am not sure I can get past the name though!

  11. Kink is nice… would love to see a comparison of Faux Pax and Orly Purple Pleather!

  12. Kaitain says:

    Bahahaha. Taint.

  13. Sarah C says:

    I might buy Taint just for the name.
    Kink is going to show up in my mailbox sometime soon, jokes aside.

  14. Maria says:

    Faux Pas has my name written all over it ! i love it.! thanks for showing us these nail polishes.. i always come to your blogs to check out the newest collections & you don’t disappoint !

  15. Mare says:

    I seriously need these in my life. Faux Pas and Vice are my two faves.

  16. These don’t reallyyy do it for me, although I do need Kink in my life. Ahahahaha omg.
    It’d be fun to do a mani with it and Rampage.

  17. Florasol says:

    I’m more the metallic-foil or packed-with-glitter type, so mattes or cremes are a definite PASS!

  18. Inna says:

    I don’t buy glittery nail varnishes, like cremes more. the waxed finish looks very interesting! Loved Vice color a lot- a lot- a lot!!

  19. kaydi says:

    I probably won’t get any of these but I recently discovered a “matte” topcoat that gives this rubber/satin finish… It’s made by e.l.f. I will def try it over some cremes to get this look.

  20. Alissa says:

    I want all of these sooo bad…but $34 in Australia? Ouch.

  21. Ter G. says:

    Can someone plz tell me why Taint is a funny name? I must be too old to get this lol

  22. jamie says:

    Wax coats have such a unique finish. Are they more difficult to remove than other types of nail polishes?

  23. Kinsey says:

    Thank you SO much for mentioning the taint situation. Before I even finished reading the post, I tweeted about a brown polish being named taint. Glad to see that someone else has my mentality.

  24. Alexandra says:

    Wonderful post! I love your blog so much!!! Keep doing what you are doing I get so much of my nail information from you and your blog. Thanks!

  25. DLFM says:

    Pass. Not tempted at all. I don’t do matte anymore but I much prefer a matte finish over these.

  26. Scienter says:

    I love Faux Pas! I love green, but I have SO MANY green polishes right now that I’d pass on Kink. Also, thank you for that post on wrapping your tips, I type a lot at work and always ruin my tips, I’m going to try wrapping the next time I do my nails.

  27. RuhRoh says:

    As you don’t accept comments on your FAQ page, I’m posting my thanks here for your brilliant tip on Sally Hansen Instant Cuticle Remover!

    I have always had unwieldly, thick cuticles and the Sally Hansen product is a real godsend! Wonderful, wonderful product.

    My “tip” with it is to make sure you get as little of it on your actual nail as possible and to take the product instructions that it should only be left on for 15-30 seconds seriously. If it’s on the nail for longer, you may get peeling nails. But when used as directed, it is simply incredible!

    For the first time in my life, my cuticles are under control without and clipping or trimming. I can barely believe that these are my hands!

    Thanks again for the heads up on this product! :)

  28. Julia says:

    I love Vice!

  29. Jess says:

    I don’t know, I just can’t get on board with this. But I don’t really like the matte look all that much, either, so maybe I’m just a traditionalist. The colors they went with, paired with the rubber finish, look like cartoon nail polish to me – like something they’d use to paint Toon Town at Disneyland. I actually like the raspberry one the best – it’s probably the most standard color, but it does look kind of velvety whereas the rest just look gummy.

  30. Deb says:

    I’m not really feeling these…very scandalous collection theme, though!

  31. Andrea says:

    I just want to try the nail-corsets, really…

  32. Krystian says:

    “And even though the word has a totally legit definition, I can

  33. Ali says:


  34. Ali says:


  35. Kellie says:

    wow, they’re all so pretty. :)

  36. Medusa says:

    I really love the purple one – it looks like latex!