Ellen’s Ode to Nail Polish
A friend of mine was home sick yesterday and she tipped me off to Ellen’s monologue about nail polish (Thanks Heather!). I’ve long been a fan of Ellen. I even had the chance to see her stand up routine during her last tour before her talk show launched. She’s such a genius and even though I swear like a sailor, I respect the fact that she can make me howl without even a hint of filth.
Now I would never call Ellen a girly girl, I think Portia picks up the slack for her in that department, so I was surprised to hear her talk about getting a manicure. But leave it to Ellen to pick up on the fact that OPI nail polishes have some cheeky and unusual names. Hence, her nail polish poem.
Roses are Pretty and Privileged,
Violets are Escape to Bahama,
Blue is Got A Date To-Knight,
Perfect for my Mama.
The grass is uncommitted,
The sun is Goldilocks Rocks!
My toes are Clubbing Til Sunrise,
Though I go to bed at 8 o’clock.
The moon is All Lacquered Up,
The stars are Tickle My France-y,
Now that you’ve learned all these colors,
It’s time for me to dance-y.
Check out the full monologue below.
I actually own or have owned all those shades at one point though Escape to Bahama and Uncommitted threw me for a loop. Anyone know those polishes? I thought maybe Escape to Bahama was meant to be China Glaze Bahamian Escape?